My teenage son smokes.. What is the most appropriate way to deal with him?

She knocked on the door and tried to open it, but her son was slow to respond. After a few moments, he opened the door and came out, while the smell of smoke remained evident in the room. 'Umm Jameel' didn't need many questions to know what had happened.

She clearly told him that she was angry about what he did, but her anger wasn't the only thing present in that moment; there was also fear and confusion about what she should do next.

All family members were at home, yet she chose not to tell anyone what she had discovered. She tried to punish her son, perhaps because she felt that it wasn't just about smoking, but also about the trust she had given him and the feeling that he had hidden something from her.

As she tried to understand how her son got into smoking, she returned to old discussions she had with his father about the allowance, as she tended to give him enough money to spend on his needs, while his father was more strict, fearing that too much money would lead him to behaviors he disapproved of.

Today, after that confrontation has calmed down, 'Umm Jameel' still returns to the same question: Should she have told his father from the beginning? Would his intervention have helped her son stop, or would it have made it more difficult and pushed him to hide what he does from her?

Umm Jameel's story is not an isolated case. The National Survey on Tobacco Use Among Adults in Jordan for 2025 showed that 38.6% of smokers started smoking before the age of 18, placing the family, school, and the environment surrounding the teenager with greater responsibility for prevention and early intervention.

In this context, Dr. Larissa Al-War, a founding member of the 'No to Smoking' Association, believes that the moment parents discover their children smoking requires a clear and balanced approach, starting with rejecting the behavior without turning the confrontation into punishment only.

Al-War warns in a statement to 'Al-Rai' that some phrases used by parents, such as 'smoking in front of me is better than behind my back,' may be interpreted by the teenager as a form of acceptance or leniency towards smoking, which is absolutely unacceptable.

She points to another contradiction that occurs within some families, when parents ask the teenager to stop smoking while they continue to smoke at home, as exposure to secondhand smoke, according to her, may enhance the desire for nicotine, so the first step should be to make the home, car, and places where the teenager is present smoke-free.

She believes that talking to the teenager should also focus on the effects they can understand in their daily lives, not just distant risks such as cancer. Smoking and nicotine dependence can be associated with problems in concentration, sleep, school performance, and learning, and changes in nicotine levels can affect mood and emotion, in addition to increasing the risk of addiction to drugs and alcohol.

Al-War explains that teenagers at this age are more impulsive and emotionally influenced, at a time when the part of the brain responsible for decision-making and assessing consequences is not fully developed; therefore, dealing with them requires containment, guidance, and follow-up, along with setting clear boundaries for behavior.

She emphasizes the importance of not leaving the teenager alone at home, calling on the family to involve him in activities such as walking, sports, team games, and spending time with family members, which helps stimulate 'dopamine' and improve mood, in addition to providing psychological and social counseling and support, and taking advantage of the school's role in providing advice while respecting the student's privacy.

Regarding informing the father, Al-War says that each family has its own specificity, and the decision depends on the nature of the relationship within the family and the father's way of dealing with his son. She explains that if the child is more afraid of his father than his mother or respects him more, he may play an important role in helping him quit, especially if he is cooperative and able to open channels of communication with his son.

She adds that a smoking father can admit to his son that he was wrong when he started smoking and suggest quitting together, while a non-smoking father can present a different model by telling his son that he was able to resist smoking and that masculinity can be in the ability to go against the tide.

Conversely, she warns against involving the father if he is known for being severely punitive, as this may lead to counterproductive results, emphasizing that the decision must take into account the specificity of each family.

She points out that having clear consequences for the rest of the siblings when a family member falls into this problem may also act as a deterrent for them.

The responsibility is not limited to the family; Public Health Law No. (74) of 2008 and its amendments prohibit the sale of tobacco products to those under 18 years of age, and prevent the sale of cigarettes in retail, as well as prohibiting the display of tobacco products except in accordance with the provisions of the system. The law stipulates penalties for selling tobacco products to those under 18 years of age and for violating the provisions of their display.

The Standards for Tobacco and Nicotine Products, Including Electronic Ones, for 2019 prohibit the sale of tobacco and nicotine products to those under 19 years of age, subject to verifying the buyer's identity in accordance with its provisions.

Also, at the end of 2025, amended instructions were issued to regulate the display of tobacco products in sales outlets, requiring establishments to place products in closed display units that are not visible and only accessible to the seller, and prohibiting the placement of writings, pictures, or logos of tobacco products inside the display units, while obligating the seller to verify the buyer's age through an official document.

The instructions also set a distance of at least 250 meters on foot between tobacco product sales outlets and institutions, including educational and health institutions.

Al-War believes that the implementation of these provisions requires more effective monitoring, especially in areas surrounding schools, and that the family should know the source of their children's acquisition of tobacco or nicotine products, and report the points of sale that sell them to minors, and can file a complaint to the Ministry of Health regarding the store through the 'Bakhdimtakum' application.

Al-War concludes by calling for dealing with the protection of teenagers from smoking within three parallel pathways: implementing the law, reducing the ease of access to tobacco and nicotine products and their attractiveness, and providing support and assistance to teenagers who have already started using them.